synchronicity

Posted in life, marriage, military life by Erin Elizabeth

moving, moving, moving is the name of the game.

i’m in moving hell.

but that is not the point of this blog. this blog is about the fact that ultimately the universe provides. our new house is wonderful. it’s less than half the size of our current house [not counting the basement or garage] and the neighbors are even closer. but the neighbors are even closer.

when we moved in we were instantly greeted by wonderful faces. to the left are a couple about my age [not the hubs, but not far off.. you know he is 10 years my senior ]. they were lovely. friendly. incredible.

and the girl [with a birthday a month apart from mine] has a mom with lung cancer. expected life expectancy 12-18 months, in her 13th month. her husband, also lost his mother to lung cancer 4 years ago.

small world.

also, there is a gilda’s house [for gilda radner] not far away with plenty of resources for dealing with the disease, the experience, the grief. anything and everything. maybe i can finally process. such a relief.

detroit is where we are meant to be. the commanding officer at everett [our second choice] gets to return to his hometown to serve. we’ve done everything for everyone… everything we can do anyway.

5Jan2012

the only good thing about texas: austin

Posted in grief, life, marriage, unfinished business, work by Erin Elizabeth

we had a bogo ticket to use with a month left to book and complete travel. we planned to use it for our new years trip to atlanta, but given that trip was scheduled to complete the day after the new year, it was out per the silly regulations of this deal. brian suggested disney world [he's got a penchant for the mouse... ok, not really, but we do like amusement parks], but tickets to orlando were too expensive. so after sitting on the couch trying to find flights to florida for hours, brian threw out austin. while we both hate texas as a whole, the book on the creative class always made me want to check out austin. it was perfect.

a day after we made the plans i remembered that i had a “friend” in the area. a long time “flickr-ite” i have gotten to know over the years through flickr and a few phone calls. while i have not been incredibly active on the net for the past few years and have only slowly re-emerged, i thought it would be great to meet will [and his girlfriend maggie... someone i had not corresponded with, but whom i read much about], so i sent him a note telling him that brian and i would be in the area. he agreed and we loosely set plans.

while i looked forward to meeting this long-time friend, i confess, i did have some trepidation. i have met other wonderful people from the interwebs over the years, though not for some time and not that many, but this was the first time i would do such a thing with brian. all of the other meetings happened well before brian came into my life and i have typically left off/glossed over [it generally just doesn't come up] how i know certain people. meeting people from the internet is not for everyone and does pose dangers, so i didn’t want to arouse any concerns. however, when i mentioned to brian that i knew will from flickr, he didn’t seem to be too concerned, so my worries were abated.

we didn’t have many concrete plans for austin. i didn’t really have any time to plan, there was too much happening at work and in life, so we boarded the plane and decided to fly by the seat of our pants.

luckily, we managed to make some last minute plans to meet will and maggie for breakfast at the bouldin creek cafe. it was wonderful. food and company both. the conversation flowed and it was as if we were old friends, meeting for our standard saturday breakfast. after we ate and chatted, will took us to south congress to show us a great hotel – hotel san jose - to stay in. it was quirky and artsy. a non-boutique, boutique hotel. [actually, it used to be a hotel for hookers, with "hourly" rates, but was re-done into a very nice, very austin place to stay]. it was located in a great spot for walking and exploring austin and was all-in-all perfect so we decided to stay there. after some exploring south congress, will [vermont ferret] took this sweet shot at joe’s coffee shop [next to hotel san jose] and we parted ways for the day.

we spent most of the trip relaxing, with no real plans, casually checking out austin.

we unsuccessfully tried to find the mustache ride [just think of the pictures and all the sexual innuendos we missed!]. we walked the markets [farmers and craft]. went to 6th street [oddly, it was dead]. drove by the capital. ate and ate. and did some shopping. get this, brian of all people ended up walking into the boot store and finding boots. think of that, him walking out with a desire* to purchase boots and NOT me. okay, i wanted to [i mean, look at these boots! patent leather!], but i was trying to be frugal.

in addition to that and whatever else we did, i went to the barn with maggie to meet her horses while brian watched the patriot’s game. i’ll post more on that experience later, but i will say it was an incredible gift from the universe to spend time with such beautiful souls [maggie and the horses].

all in all, austin lived up to its quirkiness. most cities have an area with quirky shops or people, but in austin, it really is the whole city. it is woven through the fabric of austin, in every part. take these purses for example.

weird, right? [confession, i wanted one of these too but conceded that the novelty would probably would wear off pretty quickly].

the thing i found most interesting about austin: food trailers. not trucks, trailers. parked in lots and serving food like a culinary trailer park. to me this seemed like a uniquely texas thing, whether it is actually or not. texas is all about state’s rights and protecting freedoms and nothing seems to typify this more for me [in austin anyway] than the food trailer. it’s just so independent. i wanted so badly to try food at one [as if it would somehow be different and magical], but didn’t get to. next time, austin, next time.

while we managed to have breakfast with will and maggie everyday, which was awesome, we capped off the trip with a delicious breakfast at the counter cafe. sharing one last round of breakfast goodies and excellent conversation.

we said our goodbyes and headed to the airport. it was sad to leave because we so enjoyed them both. wish we lived closer, but definitely plan to return.

[*brian would have bought them but they didn't have his size. i have since purchased the boots for him.]

1Jan2012

another year’s gone, here comes a new one…

Posted in grief, happiness, life, marriage, mother, present by Erin Elizabeth

last year was a fiasco
a real disaster
so full of sorrow
[--Loudon Wainwright III]

but not completely sorrow-filled.

it was the first full year in our new house.

though it was not a surprise, brian asked me to marry him. i accepted. i mean, who turns down the offer to spend the rest his or her life with a person who is a completely perfect mate? i called my mother on the ride home, to announce the news to my mother and she said “congratulations… i think that’s what you’re supposed to say. i am not really versed in these sort of things. are you happy?” that is my family, quintessentially. [and the answer was and is, yes. very.] i got to speak a little about it with my grandfather, though our phone conversation was strained by his failing health. he said he was happy for me and how much he thought of brian. he said he hoped to make it there. [it was planned to take place three months post-engagement to try and allow him and my mother to attend].

he did not. he passed away in march, on my mother’s birthday, finally succumbing to the lymphoma that ravaged his body. we said goodbye to him in the small michigan town that he grew up in. finally, coming home to his family. the service would have had him rolling over in his grave, had he been buried yet. with a pastor who opened by calling all his siblings deceased, though some remain living and were in attendance at the very service and despite the funeral director correcting that error to the crowd in front of the pastor. the pastor then went on to misquote life details and repeat how “great” he was so often anyone drinking to the word would have passed out. my uncle [his son] had to step up and interrupt the guy, taking over the botched eulogy. in some ways, before that point, it was so bad it was humorous. but my grandfather did not have a sense of humor, so maybe the universe was trying one last effort to help him let go.

there was another, more private, loss.

i planned a wedding in michigan and visits with my mother through her treatments from virginia. i tried my best to keep my cool, but often lost it [though, considering all of that, i did reasonably well].

my horse got sick. suffering form unknown soreness/lameness that at one point was thought to be neurologic [and still not ruled out]. i have and continue to treat her and hope to get her back to riding shape, but it remains to be seen how it will all play out.

i got married to the man of my dreams in a ceremony that was just perfect. and my mother attended. we did not take a honeymoon for financial reasons, but found that to be a blessing as it allowed me to be there as my mother passed away in the days that followed my wedding.

i watched my mother pass away. heard her pleas. tried my best to support and love her through it all. tried to stop the clock because she wasn’t ready. believed it wasn’t so close. and realized it was.

i buried my mother. my only parent. and found that even when you know it is possible, if not probable, there is no way to prepare for such a loss. and it is not something you get over, you try your best to move through it, though it is never far away.

i cleaned out my childhood home. removing all the pieces of the life i knew. though it was not the life i lead now nor the life i wanted, amazingly it was a tremendous part of me that i cherished in ways i never understood. and maybe still, am yet to understand.

i supported my husband with his mother’s health situation. from thoughts of meningitis to confirmation of infections and heart disease. to the culmination of in his mother’s open-heart surgery in reno, with very tenuous results. in addition to the surgery turmoil, it was the first time back in a hospital to visit an intensely ill person since all that happened with my mother. and saw a man pass away in his room down the hall. traumatic to say the least. ultimately, she pulled through and has since made almost a full recovery.

i got a new boss [two, actually] at work. got ‘replaced’ but not replaced. found [and still find myself] in an unbearable situation. trapped in a ‘hostile’ and delusional work environment. hating every day requiring my presence at the office. working hard to get out.

i found out my husband would not be allowed to stay in the area and would have his next tour somewhere else in the country [or japan]. freaked out at the implications to my career and had to turn down two job offers [my lifeboats out of my current, unbearable workplace] because of the new direction. made peace with the change of direction and began to see it for the possibilities it offered, while remaining scared of the uncertainties.

i lost myself. in all of it, i was living but not quite alive. not quite accessible. and i could not see it until i caused almost irreparable damage. but i do now. the light is back on and it is as if i can reach myself again. something i have been unable to do for sometime. though i did not know it. it is as if i am actually living again. or actually trying to. without the experience, i am sure it is hard for someone else to understand what i mean, but it is what it is. i am so grateful for this awakening.

so as i try to put a moniker on 2011, i find myself at a loss. it was full of many different, major life changes. and it is hard to paint one of them as more important than all others. because one was not, each was its own entity, with its owns celebrations or trials and tribulations. i guess it could be best summed up as a year of extremes.

what is in store for 2012 [besides the end of the mayan calendar]?

19Dec2011

Life as a Military [Navy] Wife Cont’d: The Choices

Posted in marriage, work by Erin Elizabeth

There were about 10 places that Brian could select for “slating”. We narrowed it down to 3.

Seattle, Colorado Springs, and Detroit.

I am sure this decision path seems like a no-brainer. In fact, you might ask how Detroit ended up in the top 3, beating out other great locations like San Jose, CA. Well, let me tell you.

Seattle.
Beautiful, hip, progressive. Sure it may rain all the time, but it doesn’t really snow [winning!]. While there is not an abundance of federal jobs, the job market seems good. The school I want to attend is here, though it is not a resident program, so I can attend from anywhere. Also Brian is from the PacNorWest and wants to go back, for a few years anyway. [Oh, and think of all the coffee!]

Colorado Springs.
You might say the same about Colorado Springs, though there were about 10 places that Brian could select for “slating”. We narrowed it down to 3. Seattle, Colorado Springs, and Detroit. I am sure this decision path seems like a no-brainer. In fact, you might ask how Detroit ended up in the top 3, beating out other great locations like San Jose, CA. Well, let me tell you. Seattle. Beautiful, hip, progressive. Sure it may rain all the time, but it doesn’t really snow [winning!]. While there is not an abundance of federal jobs, the job market seems good. The school I want to attend is here, though it is not a resident program, so I can attend from anywhere. Also Brian is from the PacNorWest and wants to go back, for a few years anyway. [Oh, and think of all the coffee!] Colorado Springs. You might say the same about Colorado Springs, though it is more beautiful. And there is lots of snow boarding in the area [for Brian and maybe me, if I ever learn]. It’s active. It’s crunchy and environmentally aware. There should be federal jobs there, but I couldn’t find them. Not a terrible job market, but also not a large one. Close to the area Brian wants to be. Oh and both of those are new places. We love adventure. Detroit. I’m from there [well, a suburb and we'd move to a[nother] suburb]. I have my mother’s house to handle. My [and becoming Brian's] friends are there. There’s a lot of opportunity for us to give back [MI is in the crapper, plus I have a 4-H club and a horseback riding for handicapped program there]. My aunt [and surrogate mother] is there. My [surrogate] grandmother/mother is there [and this is probably the end of her life]. She also has the barn I know and would consider the front-runner for all things horse related there. The job market is in the tank, but there is a larger presence of consulting firms that I could work for there. Also there is actually a federal government presence, in a small but big way, there. But, if I couldn’t work at all [anywhere], we are “recession-proof” in some way because we wouldn’t have to pay to live at my mother’s house. There’s a not-for-blog, major negative there. There is a lot of snow, boo. — So, what to do with all of that? Especially when your sense of adventure is high. — Brian chose: Seattle, Detroit, Colorado Springs.a I chose: Detroit, Seattle, Colorado Springs. — So, we went for the [not-so-obvious] choice of Detroit. We’ll see what the Navy chooses for us. gh it is more beautiful. And there is lots of snow boarding in the area [for Brian and maybe me, if I ever learn]. It’s active. It’s crunchy and environmentally aware. There should be federal jobs there, but I couldn’t find them. Not a terrible job market, but also not a large one. Close to the area Brian wants to be.

Oh and both of those are new places. We love adventure.

Detroit.
I’m from there [well, a suburb and we'd move to a[nother] suburb]. I have my mother’s house to handle. My [and becoming Brian's] friends are there. There’s a lot of opportunity for us to give back [MI is in the crapper, plus I have a 4-H club and a horseback riding for handicapped program there]. My aunt [and surrogate mother] is there. My [surrogate] grandmother/mother is there [and this is probably the end of her life]. She also has the barn I know and would consider the front-runner for all things horse related there. The job market is in the tank, but there is a larger presence of consulting firms that I could work for there. Also there is actually a federal government presence, in a small but big way, there. But, if I couldn’t work at all [anywhere], we are “recession-proof” in some way because we wouldn’t have to pay to live at my mother’s house. There’s a not-for-blog, major negative there. There is a lot of snow, boo.

–

So, what to do with all of that? Especially when your sense of adventure is high.

–

Brian chose: Seattle, Detroit, Colorado Springs.a

I chose: Detroit, Seattle, Colorado Springs.

–

So, we went for the [not-so-obvious] choice of Detroit. We’ll see what the Navy chooses for us.

18Dec2011

Life as a Military [Navy] Wife

Posted in marriage, present by Erin Elizabeth

First, let me say that there are many military families out there who make a tremendous sacrifice for defending America’s freedom. While I am a military wife, I, in no way, have to endure the sacrifices they go through. Having a spouse constantly gone, overseas or elsewhere, on missions, at sea or otherwise is a tough life. One misses the spouse, worrying about the safety of the loved one, and often must live like a “single” parent. I am sure there are another million things one must endure as the spouse of a deployed service member that, for the sake of simplification, I am over-looking. Regardless, it is tough and while I am going to outline my troubles below, I do not think they compare in any way.

–

As a result of our relatively normal life, I find myself easily lulled into a false sense of security – that everything will stay the way it is until we decide it will change. That we are total “Master’s of Our Own Destiny”. But just like The Universe is wont to do, it threw us a curve ball.

See, Brian and I have been discussing the living/working situation ad nauseam. I knew he was up for orders no later than October 2012, but in June of this year I decided I needed to make a job change. This decision meant we could get “out-of-cycle” – where he goes to his next position when I could not [see if I take a new position, I really need to stay in it two years... meaning I couldn't really leave until 2013]. As a result, we decided it would best for us for me to try to get a job down where he works. It would reduce all of our commuting [currently he drives 1.5 - 2 hrs one-way and I drive a little over an hour], I could expand my résumé in a different area, and he could probably convince his Detailer to extend him for another year.

So that was the plan. Only the plan didn’t quite work. Jobs were frozen and by the time they opened up we had started considering other options. Like me going to DC and him getting a job there. So we decided on that new path [the DC path] and Brian called his Detailer to discuss options.

“Man plans, God laughs.”

Amidst all of the above [simplified for blog] chaos, Brian put in to be a Navy Operational Support Center [NOSC] Commander, thinking it would help us out with options. Well, when Brian called the Detailer he was effectively told he was selected for Command and that DC was definitely not an option. He was told that he would need to pick from the list of NOSCs they were filling in December. None of which were in our area or near DC. None of which were near locations for jobs in my field. All of which meant major change.

So, naturally, I freaked out.

Faced with the decision to either support my husband wherever he goes and potentially sacrifice/impact my career or stay here and have my career. I felt trapped.

See, growing up I was poor [to put it mildly]. That experience imbued me with the strong urgency to never put or allow myself to fall into that position. Every decision I have made has centered around that [in one form or another]. I have methodically built my career, skill-sets and reputation. I have increased my responsibility, my position, my choices, all in an effort to build a financially sound and personally satisfying career. And now I face an un-calculated move that is in unchartered territory.

24Sep2011

I am the person on the plane everyone hates

Posted in day to day, marriage, travel by Erin Elizabeth

I can feel their stares, fellow passengers glaring at me as I blow my nose for what feels like the 100th time. Thinking, ‘oh great, she’s sick and I am trapped on this airplane with her. Spreading her germs. Ruining my upcoming week with her illness. I can feel it now, is it possible I am already getting sick from her?’

Yes, I am that girl. I am the very person who I believe a week prior got me sick flying to/from Vermont. Though I never saw him or her, I am sure that person was there, spreading their germs to the other poor saps who had the misfortune of traveling on the same plane or in the same airport. To people like me. Because invariably I end up sick when I fly. It is too strong a correlation to not be causal.

So to my fellow travelers who have the good [misfortune] of traveling with me to Reno, I am sorry. I really am because whatever I have is a beast. Good luck.

23Sep2011

we’re published

Posted in day to day, happiness, life, marriage by Erin Elizabeth

so our wedding photos were published in a magazine. it’s not a major one, but any one is pretty exciting.

we were thrilled when our photographer mentioned she was submitting it. when she told us we got picked. when i was interviewed about the wedding. it was all soooo exciting. we could not wait for the publication.

until it came.

and b apparently spoke his “love talk” to melissa. not me. who is this mysterious melissa? who knows. but it stopped me in my tracks as i read the article. i couldn’t go any further. so after announcing our publication début, i refused to share the info with anyone. i couldn’t read on, so who knew what else was butchered.

i was mortified.

kind of funny for a person who gave up any/all “attachment” to the details of the wedding as the things i wanted fell apart. i knew that the “things” were not what the wedding was about, it was the wedding. and having my family there [originally shooting to have my grandfather and mother there, we were 1 for 2 (or a 50% success rate)]. still it was lovely, wonderful, and everything we wanted from it.

our celebration [or brian's with melissa] is documented here on page 75: http://issuu.com/inframebride/docs/2011-12fall_issue
[random aside... i just wanted to "fast-forward" through the magazine to see where we were and typed in "75"... who knew that was our actual page?]

[of note: the editor did call me last sunday to apologize for the error and said the mistake must have come from the fact that there was a "brian and melissa", which meant the mistake wasn't on their radar.]

26Aug2011

thank you

Posted in grief, happiness, life, marriage, mother by Erin Elizabeth

i’m bound to thank you for it.

i have been remiss to write my thank you notes. for our wedding. for my mother’s funeral.

i think it is the duplicity of the task that has kept me from starting. not that they are redundant, but that they are linked. i cannot do one without the other. so instead of dealing with one or the other, i dealt with none.

until today.

i finally got out the funeral book to find the information that would lead to the creation of the thank you notes for things related to my mother’s passing. yes, it is odd that i started with a sad event that took place [by a margin] after the happy event, but maybe it is not completely. it’s the harder task to accomplish, so i couldn’t put it off. if i completed those notes, i had the good notes to look forward to writing. plus, there were fewer notes to write. the “task” seemed as though i could accomplish it.

but then i opened the guest book. it was not what i expected. it was more. i expected a book, maybe with a title page, and some pages with guest info. instead it was a chronology, or a final summation, of my mother’s life. alongside the cold hard facts of her passing were words of comfort. quotes, sayings, poems and psalms. the two intertwined to provide the reasoning [?], solace [?], story [?] of my mother’s passing. halfway through i had to stop reading and get right to the data. it was all too much. i scrolled through the names, the witnesses of her last service, and stopped again. i picked up the thank you notes and started writing to the people i knew and were “easy” for me to communicate to first. i got through the bunch.

[numb]

i started on the wedding thank you notes. writing them was rather uneventful, but their juxtaposition to those for my mother’s funeral was unsettling. i am more than grateful to the people in my life, but having to detail both sides back-to-back is not how i expected.

so thank you. for the happy and the sad.

2Aug2011

it’s never just “congratulations”

Posted in grief, happiness, life, marriage, Uncategorized by Erin Elizabeth

on your marriage. on one of the most happy and joyous occasions of my life.

no. unfortunately, it is either preceded or followed by “i’m so sorry for your loss.”

and if it is not, there are always questions.

how was your wedding? it was absolutely wonderful. everything turned out perfectly. [except my mother died a week and a half later].

or.

where did you go on your honeymoon? no where. [my mother's funeral].

i don’t always say that last part. i can’t determine what drives the response, just happens or it doesn’t. most of the time it depends on how well i know the person/how often we are required to interact. sometimes though, it is for the shock value. shock value is probably not what i mean, but i say it so that my reality is shared. so that i am not so alone in it. not that i expect everyone to empathize, it’s just that i am living this reality and i think people should know. life isn’t always fair.

besides, we weren’t planning on a honeymoon right away anyway. we were going to wait until our year anniversary. who knew that decision would have so many other “benefits”.

still, that is what i am living. two events tied together forever. i know that at some point, for myself if no one else, i have to separate the two events. but for now they are intertwined.

3Jul2011

sunday, five weeks ago, 5/29

Posted in happiness, life, marriage by Erin Elizabeth

i was married.

to the most absolutely perfect man.

i want to keep track of that

i was celebrating at our wedding reception. i had married the man of my dreams in the morning.

we were eating. laughing. smiling. goofing off in the photobooth. hoola hooping. visiting with family and friends. and just enjoying our union as husband and wife.

it is the morning of.

at 5am, i wake. well before my alarm, but my body woke me anyway. time to go. it’s my wedding day.

shower. blow-dry. out the door. headed to rite-aid.

deodorant, oj, a few other essentials, and i am back at the hotel room to finish up the other loose ends.

cocktail hour centerpieces. my shoes and clothes.

and the “love talk”.

at 7:30am my hairdresser calls to confirm the room number. she tells me that is not where i am staying, while i insist i am. she realizes she’s at the marriott [we're at the courtyard marriott] and apologizes to the man she awoke at 7am for the name of beauty and comes to my room with the make-up artist.

jenni [my h.s. best friend] arrives with her husband and we hang out. minutes later the stylists arrive and set to work.

jenni takes pictures of the whole situation because she knows we’ll [i'll] want these later. she’s right. even if my “attendant of honor” isn’t here, she is doing just the job she should.

as i am getting my make-up done, my hair stylists mentions the veil. i realize it is at my aunt’s house still [just down the road], so i call her and she drops it off just in time.

hair and make-up fly by. heide shows up. harriet shows up. felicia shows up. ricky and his bf show up. eventually adam and mitch show up. we all kibitz about the day and the pending nuptials.

nat [brian's friend] shows up requesting my keys to vacuum my suv [to remove the dirt from our ceremony "trees"].

all the while i am nervous that there is not enough time.

but there is. and after all is said and done and i look fabulous, jenni and i set out to pick up my dress and head to the venue.

we’re there “early” and a girl whom i have never met at the venue asks my opinion on the set-up [as she has not been told how to arrange the decorations, despite the fact that i gave explicit instructions the day i dropped them off]. i give her the corrections for the centerpieces and the opening table that has our escort card info.

and i go back to the room to get ready.

the cake baker/decorator shows up and i provide some last-minute direction and she provides some last-minute correction. and it’s done.

[the cake was such as disaster situation. original decorations scrapped. secondary decorations waited on and two days before scrapped. final decor decided on two days before with decor i had made for other purposes and had already scrapped].

finally, we are ready to dress.

so finally, i am ready and waiting.

and pinning my attendant of honor’s boutonniere. [hand-made flowers, not the real [fresh] deal]

which made the wedding photographers ask if the best man was supposed to have one as well. which, i replied emphatically, “yes.” so scurrying and confusion began.

it seemed that even though i had provided the groom’s friends all the pieces the groom forgot [boutonniere, RINGS, video camera, etc] the night before, it seemed as though the boutonniere was missing. i emphasized the boutonniere’s location. was told again they could not find it.

i screamed about how ludicrous it was.

more searching was done to no avail.

i bitched a little more. then told them to let it go.

it didn’t matter.

later someone came in to tell me to call adam and mitch. tell them all had been found. it was in there that i realized that in addition to the boutonniere that didn’t matter, the rings [which MATTERED] were also m.i.a., though they appeared with said previously mentioned friends.

so it resumed. and brian waited.

until the ceremony.

where brian’s nephew and neice and my attendant of honor walked down the aisle.

preceeding my grand entrance. boy, did i not like walking down the aisle with all those eyes on me.

and at the alter our pastor said some words.

and our friend ricky read a compilation passage from the book all about love by bell hooks.

then i shared my “love talk” [read: not vows].

and brian got misty.

then brian shared his [and i didn't get misty... i'm just not that kind of girl.]

then we exchanged vows & rings.

after brian put my ring on, he mentioned that it was “number 5″ [referring to the fact that it took the purchase of five rings before we found the right one for me, or one that i really liked].

and we were officially married.

so we made our way down the aisle [our first walk as husband and wife].

[close-up of the text under our feet... a favorite kurt vonnegut quote of mine]

[so this was the one screw up of the wedding... our runner was laid out backwards... i didn't notice until we were up at the front and this was under our feet.]

behind the scenes as our guests made their way to cocktail hour, we signed our marriage licenses.

took some formal shots.

with the whole family… though do not ask why my aunt and cousin are wearing the same dress. it was very odd [and unlike them].

afterwards, brian and i headed out for some photos at cranbrook.

[yes, he is always this goofy]

we wrapped up there and returned to our guests.

and they began clinking their glasses.

toasts were shared by the best man and attendant of honor.

and we ate lunch and shared laughs with all of our guests. [one thing we did that i ::loved:: was a rotating seating chart that had us spend about 10-15 mins at each table, eating various portions of our meal with them. it was a great way to spend time with all of our guests.]